you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
