yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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