i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
