I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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