when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
