lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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