glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
