Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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