Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
