I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize