Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
