Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
