do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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