ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize