its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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