He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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