i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
