i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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