an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
