My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
