Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
