rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
