Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
