haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
