turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
