I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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