i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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