Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
