My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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