sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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