David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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