Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
my liver is dry heaving
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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