Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
