Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
