Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
