i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think my vagina is haunted
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
