he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
