I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
