it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
