Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Shame is for Republicans.
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