The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
