All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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