I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
