he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
