I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize