I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
