Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
