apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
