So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
