Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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