so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
