I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
