she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
