The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
