I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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