What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so that wasnt chicken after all
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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