he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
