Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
