He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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