honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
