Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
