Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
