wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
