Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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