you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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