After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
