went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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